The number you have dialled has not been recognised...

HI. I have moved. I have moved here.

Let's see how long my ridiculous attention span lasts....

Professor Thorogood is good and thorough.

Got questions? Questions that need answering? If so, email Professor Henry Thorogood at the LMAO Institute and he will give you all the answers to all the questions, all the time.

Visit his website here

Oh Yeah, This Thing.

Hello.

I doubt very much anyone has looked here in some time. I know I haven't. I Intend to ressurect this blog soon, I still like it's name.

In the meantime please visit here for some fictional email based nonsense and here for some very useful and down to earth Life Advice, or Lice. No. Maybe just Life Advice.

Goodbye.

The Apprentice

Hello, I realise I seem to have completely neglected this blog but I do intend to write more on it soon. In the meantime, I have written a review of The Apprentice for my benevolent masters at www.scunt.co.uk. Please go and have a look. Here. Please. Look in your heart. LOOK IN YOUR HEART.

Submitting To Scunt

No, I have not developed some new disease and have decided to write a 'Dealing With Headlice' or 'Living With Bleeding Gums' style pamphlet in blog form. That is not what I have done. What I have done recently is post a review on Scunt which is a satirical website I discovered via twonking about on Twitter. The shadowy figures at work behind the scenes of this very funny site have kindly asked me to contribute some reviews, which I fully intend to do. I have posted one already. It is here. It's 'ok' I think. Hopefully my next one will be better. Please go and have a look.

www.scunt.co.uk

Yours tremendously,

Martin.

Possible BBC shows for the summer.

TWIT MY RIDE

Beloved Hip Hop pioneer Tim 'The Big Dawg' Westwood hides in the back of a random strangers car and reports on their car journeys in his own inimitable style using the popular social networking site Twitter.

"Ethel Brown is turning her swag up to 11 and getting her game on. We off to Tesco for some fresco. We be taking Derby Road by storm! BOOOM!"



I CAN SEE FOR CHILES

Sad faced People's Pundit Adrian Chiles points out objects of interest in the distance whilst grimacing intently.

"I think, I think that's a post office..."





MAD ABOUT THE ROY

'Catchphrase' sensation Roy Walker takes an in depth look at celebrity stalking and the stalkers themselves, the show climaxes with a segment in which Roy is locked in a featureless, windowless room with a large man who has been stalking Roy for 27 years and refers to himself as Mr. Chips.




F###ING KITCHEN B###OCKS S###HEAD

Britain's favourite sweary chef spends a day with an average 'credit crunched' family and ruthlessly tears apart their every meal. Wince as he drowns one of the children in their pathetic bowls of cereal at breakfast, laugh as Mum's piss-poor ham sandwich lunch is set on fire and fired at her leg using a nail gun, whimper as Dad's offensive Shepherd's Pie is kicked around the house before Gordon beats the inferior cook to death using a selection of carefully selected kitchen implements.

All About The Trout

Here is an ace video of the mighty Rainbow Trout, edited by the tremendous Mike Nixon. Have a little look won't you? EH? I said look. LOOK AT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT.



For more Trout action go here. Just do it, don't make me get up and come over there. They are playing at Trof in Fallowfield tonight with Ten Bears. Woop!