Early retirement

I've noticed recently that every morning, as i'm leaving my flat and walking to the bus, i start thinking about what it would be like to retire. I would get up the same time as everyone else, but then just set up a chair on the pavement and watch people scurry off to work. I would not scurry or do the strange frankenstein lurching I seem to have developed as a means of transport of late, I would mosey or stroll. Or potter about. But mostly I would just sit on my chair and laugh at all the stressed folk running for the 42 bus. I would befriend/annoy the local shopkeepers. I would walk along beside learner drivers practicing maneuvers and shout supportive things like 'GO ON!', 'YOU ARE DRIVING NOW, EH?' and 'DON'T FREAK OUT!'. I would probably need a garden. Given that my flat is roughly the size of a disabled toilet and has no garden outside, I would have to cultivate one on my walls. Sideways plants could be interesting.

These thoughts usually last up until I stick my music on and then they are just irritating and as I travel closer to town it becomes more apparent that I will in fact not be retiring for what seems like approximately 1 million years.