Wasps

Well…I knew they’d come back. Its wasp season once again in my flat. Last night I was forced to face 3 massive, stupid angry wasps with only the guardian (living up to its name) to defend myself with. They are getting in through a ventilation..um..vent in my kitchen. The first one caught me off guard and I couldn’t figure out where it had come from. I have 3 different vents in the flat. so at 11.30 pm last night I was running around my small abode in my pants with a rolled up paper in one hand and cardboard and sellotape in the other. Furiously smacking the winged devils with the paper and sealing up the ventilation points with tape and cardboard. All the while chattering to myself and the wasps in a deranged whisper. “ohhh I’ll get ya, I’ll get ya, think you’re great, get through this hole now you stripy stingy bastards, fuck you wasps, I'll kill ya, I'll kill ya…”. I could almost hear the “plinky plonky crazy” music from The Shining in the background. So I’ve called landlords and they are sending in the cavalry. Should be all dead by tomorrow hopefully. As will I be, more than likely due to the lack of ventilation in my flat.