Tuesday 19 August 2008

Wasps 2

It's been a few days now since the wasps came back. I managed to seal all possible entrances into my flat and have kept the windows shut. Still they gather outside my window. Buzzing around and occasionally bumping into the glass, like they are testing its resistance. I have not left the house since THEY came. Work called and I feigned illness the first day. After that I stopped answering the phone. I have to stay here. This is MY flat. If I go they may find a way in. What then? Eh? All my furniture chewed up and a huge uber-nest on my wall. Thats what then. Nooooo. Not this time you godless flying hitlers. I will prevail. I have been ordering pizza online and getting the pizza man to push them through the letterbox. So far this has been less than efficient. Most of the pizza toppings have been gathering in a little pepperoni pile outside my door. This has in turn attracted flies. As long as THEY don't smell it i'm ok. Last night I lay awake all night wondering....if THEY kept trying to get through my keyhole would evolution take over? Would they eventually breed a wasp capable of either coming through the keyhole or worse...a wasp that could function as a key and open my door, beckoning in the legions that await? What would that be called? Wey? Kasp? Kesp? At this point, 4 am apparently, my neighbor Mr. Hatred shouted through the wall. I really should develop an internal monologue of some sort. The walls are thin in this building.

3 comments:

xTx said...

i saw a cartoon once where a bunch of bees flew in the formation of a key and then unlocked a door.

You might want to fill the lock with chewing gum incase the gain intelligence.

xTx said...

...in case they....


what a 'tard i am

Martin Higgins said...

My god, of course.....gum....

Thank you xtx. I knew it wasn't just the late night rambling of my fevered brain. If it can happen in cartoons then it can happen in real(ish) life....

I'm chewing as we speak..